The Space Between Burnout & Joy

Nov 10

INSIGHTS & A READING LIST FOR REIMAGINING WORK/LIFE

Ross Gay

Joy is the evidence of our connection.

This post explores a moment of awakening at Google, a conference in Louisville on how businesses can do good in the world, and a book list (scroll to end) for how to work with burnout and bring more joy to your daily life (especially work).

Story

Every time I present on burnout, there’s one slide people love to hate—or at least groan audibly at. Signs and Symptoms. It features a frazzled woman slumped over her desk in utter fatigue, a signpost pointing in two directions for ambivalence, an angry screeching cat for irritability, and, of course, the ultimate high-stress trigger for any high achiever: a professional holding a sign that reads “Not Enough Experience.” A perfect snapshot of the insidious mix of imposter syndrome and gold-star-childhood-rooted self-doubt.

These, my friends, are signs that what you’re giving has outgrown the good you’re receiving. That your work is no longer nourishing you in a generative way. That something in the team or culture may be tipping toward toxic. That you’re stuck on the output hamster wheel.

As my co-presenter, Amanda, likes to say, “Burnout happens when effort outpaces recovery.” It’s not just about doing too much—it’s what happens when life becomes transactional instead of transformational. We keep checking boxes but lose connection to meaning, presence, and the very joy that drew us to the work in the first place.

What do we need to get out of the trap?

In 2012, I attended a conference at Google on the intersection of technology and wisdom. During the event, participants were divided into small cohorts for tours of the campus. Our group entered one of the main engineering buildings and stumbled upon the aftermath of a surprise experienced by the group before us. A well-known philosopher had done something entirely unexpected—something that threw them, hard.

Picture it: a sleek, modern building surrounded by welcoming green space, complete with rows of brightly colored Google bicycles neatly lined up outside. Inside, a vast, open lobby stretched before us, anchored by a massive whiteboard that spanned the entire length of the wall.

This board was legendary. For years, employees and visiting leaders had been invited to write their big ideas on it — the kind that change lives, businesses, or maybe even the world. The surface was layered with overlapping colors and phrases from thousands of markers. You couldn’t even read most of them anymore — the densely covered board was humming with ideas.

They told us that before we showed up, the company’s leadership team was hosting a guest: the world-renowned philosopher Eckhart Tolle. Everyone was buzzing with anticipation, waiting to see what profound message he would write on this board of ideas.

When the moment came, they handed him a marker. He stood there for a few seconds — silent, still. Then, instead of writing, he set the marker down, picked up an eraser, and began to wipe a space across the center of the board.

The room fell completely silent. As they heard the eraser easing across the sacred whiteboard, people gasped — some smiled, some looked almost stricken.

When he finished, there was an open space.
Later, he shared in a keynote event that there is wisdom in emptiness. In our hyper-achieving culture, we feel pressured to constantly do more, add more — more thoughts, more goals, more ideas. When we pause long enough to witness our lives, we gain perspective. From that place, we can make wise choices based on what’s actually happening, not just what’s demanding our attention.

Burnout rarely has a single cause. Sometimes it’s fueled by stressors at home; other times, by a work culture we can’t easily change. The remedy is often a series of small, intentional choices that honor our values and support our individual needs.

And when we make space — even for a breath, a pause, or a moment of stillness — we often discover the birthplace of joy.

The Space Between Burnout and Joy

That experience has stayed with me for years. And I thought of it while prepping for a speaking engagement last week.

Last Thursday, I spoke, along with my colleague, Amanda Villaveces, to a packed room for our breakout session at the Canopy Good Business Summit 2025. Our topic, Moving Burnout to Joy, certainly struck a chord with many. And I kept thinking of that whiteboard — of how our minds and calendars can begin to look just like it.

We fill every inch with tasks, meetings, projects, and ideas — many of them good and sometimes necessary — but eventually, there’s no room left to breathe. We lose the space that makes creativity, connection, and joy possible.

At the Summit, we explored how our brains are making a choice every day between survival mode and learning mode. In survival mode, there is an undercurrent of searching for threat - we’re reactive, protective, and focused on staying safe. In learning mode, we feel fundamentally safe in the moment - we’re curious, flexible, more connected with others, open, and able to grow.

But there’s also a third state — one that’s often dismissed in modern busyness — the resting mode. It’s the space where the body repairs, the mind integrates, and our whole system returns to center. It’s not about disengagement. It’s about making contact with our being — the part of you that exists beneath the noise and effort.

The “resting mode” or default mode network (DMN) in the brain is active when we’re not focused on external tasks — when the mind can wander, reflect, integrate, and restore. Activating this state helps balance the constant stimulation of goal-directed “doing mode.” The DMN supports integration, linking emotional and cognitive experiences into coherent meaning. It’s also involved in memory consolidation, creativity, empathy, and perspective-taking — all functions that require space/being over forced doing.

Examples of resting mode are sleep, deep rest, unhurried time in nature, a day without an agenda, mindfulness practices, meditation, restorative care, floating in a pool, sitting by a fire, slowly sipping a cup of hot tea, being in a “time has stopped” moment with a loved one. All things that allow for a natural state of joy to arise. Your resting mode go-tos are unique to what works for you. It takes trial/error and practice to discover your favorites. We practice so that we build a reliable body memory to help us out with rebalancing. I’ve listened to the same song for almost 20 years while I’m stretched out on the floor with a bolster under my knees - instant resting mode that I’ve trained my brain to respond to (it doesn’t take 20 years).

When I think back to that Google whiteboard/Tolle story — I can feel the weight of it. The vast space of big ideas that got disrupted by a plea for emptiness/ non-doing. But it’s weighted in a really good way, like a weighted blanket. A comforting weight that keeps us grounded and connected to our physical experience. The space on the board invited a different and critical way of being — one that helps us hold on to the best of what it means to be human: imagination, creativity, care, and connection — the same qualities we lose when burnout takes hold.

The Breakout Session

In our breakout session, we explored how burnout isn’t just exhaustion; it’s the absence of spaciousness. Our days fill with urgency, our minds get tangled in productivity, and our inner life grows quiet. Burnout is also a signal — a kind of internal alarm — letting us know something is out of alignment, that we’ve been running on output for too long. What’s needed next isn’t more effort but restoration.

These days, when I notice the thought, “I’d rather stay in bed,” I pause, breathe, and check in to see what feels off or how well I’ve been caring for myself. This is radically different from early in my career, when I would work impossible weeks and eventually cancel an entire day because I couldn’t get out of bed. When we learn to hear the signal early, we can intervene with more compassion and prevent ourselves from reaching that breaking point.

With even a little room to breathe, our inner voice comes back into focus. And this is where values work is crucial to self-care. Space reveals where the issues are - what is lacking, hurting, draining, or where boundaries have been violated. Values help us orient our energy and take meaningful actions that get us back into alignment. In the session, we used a values practice to help people clarify their priorities. The top ones people named were the same core themes I hear in my work: family, purpose/meaning in work/life, compassion, authenticity, autonomy, loyalty, relationships, freedom, security.

There is room for joy to arise when we reconnect with that inner spaciousness — the place where breathing, feeling, imagining, and remembering what we love becomes possible again. Joy reflects our inner worthiness and our outer interconnectedness, a steadiness no circumstance can take from us. From this place, we rediscover our purpose — our North Star — which becomes essential as we name what we need, set healthy boundaries, and find a relationship with work that supports rather than drains our wellbeing.

My favorite moment of the session came when we shifted from talking about burnout to actually feeling the antidote. We closed our eyes for a five-minute mindfulness practice to quiet the noise and come home to the present. When we opened them again, everyone looked so relaxed I wanted to hand out blankets and declare nap time—though I restrained myself; we were, after all, in suits at a business conference. That moment reminded me: no amount of words can replace the experience of truly inhabiting our own lives.

And that is how I will leave you….take this moment to feel your body in the chair, feet on the ground, bring awareness to your breath, and allow it to move and expand until it feels nourishing to your body. Then imagine what brings your joy. The people who help it grow. The places that spark it. The moments where you feel your aliveness. Take a few moments here to slow down and take note of what you need.

Everyone needs a joy menu—a ready list of simple, nourishing things to reach for each day. A daily dose of what helps you feel most alive.

The topic of burnout at work is extensive and complex. Below, I’ve chosen books that focus on this topic of burnout and joy from a variety of perspectives. They’re companions for the in-between moments — guides for remembering your aliveness, re-orienting to what matters, and creating the conditions where joy can naturally return. Also, for a detailed cause and strategy for burnout in organizations, please see the interview I gave to CMAA, included in this post.

Book Recs for Dealing with Burnout and Increasing Joy

These six books remind me of that erased whiteboard. Each one invites us to make space for presence, rest, and conscious choice — to clear away the noise and return to what matters most.

Inciting Joy – Ross Gay
Ross Gay has this rare ability to turn joy into something embodied and communal — not the surface kind of joy, but the kind that grows from bringing awareness and wisdom to our ordinary struggles. He shows how tending to connection, care, and shared humanity is what keeps us alive inside. Every time I read his words, I remember that joy is a living, daily practice. And the opportunities to cultivate it are everywhere.

Set Boundaries, Find Peace – Nedra Glover Tawwab
This one is essential reading for anyone who’s ever felt pulled in a hundred directions (so… all of us). Nedra reminds us that boundaries are not about control or distance — they’re about creating the space where our peace and purpose can breathe again. I often recommend this to clients who are learning that saying “no” is a profound act of self-respect, and that frequently we have to say no to create space and/or get to our yes.

The Choice Point – Joanna Grover & Jonathan Rhodes
These authors do a beautiful job of balancing science and compassion. I’ve had the privilege of training with them on several occasions, and I use this powerful work often with clients. The Choice Point is a guide to interrupting autopilot and choosing your next move with intention. It’s about living in alignment with your deepest values instead of reacting from habit.

We all reach moments when the old ways stop working — or when we know what to do but can’t quite find the motivation to do it. This book offers a clear, research-based framework for recognizing those pivot points and choosing differently. It’s a practical and empowering resource, especially in seasons of transition, growth, or professional reinvention.

Real-World Enlightenment – Susan Kaiser Greenland
I’ve always loved how Susan Kaiser Greenland takes vast, hard-to-grasp spiritual concepts and makes them accessible in everyday life. When I first moved to Los Angeles years ago, she was the very first teacher I sought out. She has a deep embodied practice and an understanding of the developmental shifts humans experience throughout the lifespan. This shines through in all of her offerings.

Real-World Enlightenment feels like a deep exhale: a reminder that presence and wisdom aren’t somewhere far away; they’re available right here, in the messy, beautiful moments of our workdays. For anyone seeking to live their mindfulness practice beyond the cushion, this one is a gentle, trustworthy companion.

How the Way We Talk Can Change the Way We Work – Robert Kegan & Lisa Lahey
This is a leadership classic that changed how I listen and how I help teams communicate. It shows how the language we use — even in small, everyday exchanges — shapes culture, growth, and transformation. For those working on developing emotional intelligence and conscious communication, it’s an incredible resource.

How We Work – Leah Weiss
Leah Weiss invites us to rediscover purpose in the ordinary pulse of our days — in the meetings, the projects, the quiet moments in between. She bridges mindfulness and leadership with compassion and clarity, showing how inner awareness can translate into outer impact. Her writing reminds us that meaning isn’t found by doing less, but by being more awake to what we do. I met Leah at a compassion conference and she’s the real deal. Very down-to-earth and deeply knowledgeable of the realities and possibilities in the world of work.

For Further Reflection

If you’d like to explore this theme more deeply, here is a blog post I wrote on the topic of Joy. And here is a worksheet on going into resting mode. May they support your own movement from burnout toward joy, meaning, and wholeness.

So grateful to be building a mindful life with you.
May you be well,

Shelly

Practice

A Practice for Space

Before you move on to your next task, take a moment.
Put your feet on the floor.
Let your body settle into the chair beneath you.
Take one deep, steady breath.
Then another.

Notice the quiet within and around you.
This is the space where restoration begins — where creativity and joy reawaken.